LOST Wednesday: The first 5 seasons and 6 episodes

I figured it would encourage me to blog more regularly if I had a schedule. So let me introduce LOST Wednesdays! Every Wednesday (or later in the following week, if need be), I will give my review of the last episode and speculate up new theories. I've been doing this myself ever since getting hooked on Lost in late January 2009 by a former coworker, but now in the final season, these will be exposed for all to see and mock. Honestly, I should have started this at the beginning of season 6, but the idea didn't occur to me until now. Now let's get started:

Lost Theories From the Previous 5 Seasons

Ok, I'll give you a chance to mock even my prior theories. I was shocked when they killed Shannon in season 2 so soon after killing off her brother and I was convinced the producers would bring her back at some point. Um, ok, not so much. I became convinced that Desmond was the key to everything. I didn't need Faraday to tell me Desmond was "special," it was obvious. He was the only character to ever see "flashes" of the future and the only one who seemed to have the ability to successfully move his consciousness through time. So while watching Season 4, I began to concoct my first "Grand Unified Theory of Lost":

People at various points in season 4 (as well as season 5) said things to the effect of "it's not supposed to happen this way." John Locke was fond of saying it, the first time to my recollection being when he knifed Naomi and tried to warn Jack not to contact the freighter at the end of season 3. What does it mean, "this is not supposed to happen this way"? I thought that it meant that the timeline had branched off from the path it was originally going to take at some point late in season 3. The most obvious candidate for the moment things went awry was the moment Charlie Pace died in the Looking Glass, or rather, the moment he turned off the jamming equipment. His action there allowed the freighter folk, including Keamy and the other mercenaries, to land on the island. Keamy and Co. killed Alex Rousseau, as well as all the survivors who made it to the freighter before Keamy blew it up. It was Keamy's attack on the islanders (both 816ers and Others) that forced Ben Linus to move the island by turning the "Frozen Donkey Wheel" (FDW). Except Ben wasn't "supposed" to turn it, so the island skipped through time (in the process of which most of the remaining 816 survivors still on the island were killed off) until Locke, who was "supposed" to turn it in the first place, did so. Then the time-flashes stopped, but because Ben had improperly turned the wheel in the first place, it stranded Sawyer, Jin, Juliet, Miles, Desmond, Rose, and Bernard in 1974.

So I theorized that someone (most likely, Desmond) would have to go back in time to the end of season 3 and stop Charlie from turning the jamming beacon off. Then there would be some kind of final confrontation between the Others and 816ers and the series would end (with probably a lot of other complications thrown in to make things interesting). I still think this would have been an awesome tack for the show to take, but ultimately it became apparent to me that it was NOT the one Damon and Carlton were going to take. It would have been nice to see Dominic Monaghan return as a main character, though.

If I had been watching Lost during the original run of Season 4 and blogging about it, I would have been able to claim that I had been ahead of the curve on it turning into a time-travel show. In the second episode, "Confirmed Dead," we see Charlotte's first flashback. She is in the Tunisian desert and examines a fossilized polar bear skeleton, alongside a Dharma collar. "Aha!" I thought. "Dharma polar bear fossilized in the Sahara can only mean one thing: at some point, the island jumped or will jump through time and space to sometime thousands of years ago in what is now the Sahara desert. Of course, thousands of years ago, the Sahara was more of a tropical scrubland than a desert. Perhaps that was how the Others (with their Egypt symbolism) first got to the island, by journeying west from the Nile to location of the island in North Africa. Thus I was not shocked at all when the FDW was revealed and island started jumping through time. Sawyer and Co. seem to have been attacked by ancient Egyptians using flaming arrows (unless that was someone else). I still want the show to explain the Island-Tunisia-Egypt connection, especially why the exit point for anyone using the FDW is Tunisia.

Season 6 ALT vs. WHH

I came down on the "Whatever Happens, Happens" side of the great debate in season 5 and during the long break between seasons 5 and 6 about whether it is possible for a time-traveler to change the past. If Sayid's shooting of Ben or Juliet's detonation of Jughead had actually changed everything that happened post-1977, then the previous 5 seasons were a waste. With only 1 season to go, the producers would essentially be saying "and now for something completely different."

Fortunately, they didn't do that, but they did split the difference by creating a new "Alternate" timeline in which 815 does not in fact crash on the island. I'm skeptical that Jughead's detonation was the point at which the alternate timeline split off from the main one. A nuclear blast would have leveled Dharmaville, not simply submerged the island. Likewise, a volcanic eruption (Ben's teacher mentioned that there is a volcano on the island back in season 3 and I still look forward to seeing it blow at some point) would bury Dharmaville beneath ash and lava, not sink the island. The fact that the barracks are intact underwater in the alternate means that something else we haven't seen yet sunk the island, and did so at some point after about 1970 (when Dharma was founded). The fact that Ben Linus is alive and well in the alternate as a European History high school teacher (when at the time of Jughead's detonation, he was still on the island recovering with the Others), means that the island sank before 1977 (or 1974, since this is when Sawyer and Co. flashed to the island).

So the early 70s then was the point of divergence, and as the season progresses, Damon and Carleton are going to slowly reveal the sequence of events that led to the island sinking. Considering the apocalyptic storyline going on in season 6 between loyal Jacobites and followers of Esau/Fake Locke, it wouldn't make sense to introduce something this shocking and important if it's ultimately irrelevant to the show's ending. Which leads to my next theory: At some point towards the end of season 6, Jack will be one of the few good guys left alive, perhaps the only one. At that point, he will get a choice to choose a better past/timeline for the 816ers and the Others, but the catch will be that to accomplish this will necessitate sinking the island. I'm not sure how the island could be sunk, but if it can be moved by turning the FDW, maybe if you pull really really hard on the plug in Ben's closet in Dharmaville, you can flood the island. ;)

The ALT-LOSTies will still have a feeling of deja vu whenever they encounter each other or other things that remind them of what happened in the original timeline (like Jack's appendectamy scar, apparently an attempt by Time to "course-correct"). Eventually, they will recover at least some concrete memories of the other timeline, though what will happen then is a mystery to me. Perhaps the two timelines become merged? Not sure what the point of that would be, except to offer certain characters like Sayid and Locke a shot at redemption. Perhaps they all board Ajira Flight 316 in 2007?

With the exception of Sayid and Rose, it seems that everyone in the alternate universe has a better life than they had in the original timeline (Hurley being lucky, Jack having a kid and a chance to be a good father unlike his own). The two exceptions might prove the rule, however, because Rose has accepted that she will soon die (and so presumably has Bernard), meaning that they will treasure the moments they have left. If Sayid has free will, he is free to choose the path of nonviolence. The Eko parallels here are obvious: like Eko, Sayid never really had a "choice" to be bad, did he? He tortured when the Iraqi government forced him to, when the 815ers wanted him to for their security, when he was tracking down those who supposedly caused his wife's death. Of course, we all have choices, don't we? Throughout the first 5 seasons, Sayid was fully aware of the terrible things he had done and didn't profess to be a "good man" the way he did in last week's episode, "Sundown." Which means he's possessed... or something....

Meanwhile, Back on the Ranch....

While the "alternate" timeline sequences have often seemed pointless, the on-island 2007 main timeline sequences are thrilling, albeit equally confusing at times. This post has already become far longer than I was expected, so I'll give my take on the season 6 MTL as quickly as I can: Jughead didn't work. Shocker. Instead the explosion likely was contained by the ongoing electromagnetic anomaly, combining to form what the Dharma Initiative was to call "The Incident." Dharma knew nothing about any nuclear weapon, but they did pick up elevated levels of radiation afterwords, so they turned the Swan Station, which was originally supposed to be a research station, into a containment station, trying to contain what they believed to be incredible electromagnetic energy inside the pocket of rock. Instead, when Desmond turned the fail-safe key at the end of season 2, releasing all the energy, it was actually pretty mild, far from the island-destroying, world-ending release that Dharma had feared.

At the moment of the detonation, Jack and Co. flashed back in time to 2007. Juliet was still dying at the bottom of the well (which is now of course the wreckage from the Swan implosion in 2004). Jack, Sawyer, Miles, Hurley, Sayid, and the Dharma van are all exactly where they were prior to the detonation. The only exception is Kate, who appears way up in a tree, ears ringing from the explosion. Much as season 1 began with Jack being in the jungle away from where the other front-section survivors landed, season 6 begins with Kate being away from where the other 816ers are. I can't help but think this is significant, and the fact that her name is not listed as a candidate on the cave wall (or if it is listed, Esau chose not to point it out) and that she ends up joining Esau's group at the end of "Sundown" (even though Esau is surprised at her action and knows she is the only one of his new army who hasn't actually committed her loyalty to him)... all of this seems extremely significant. Though what it portends, who can tell?

Jacob starts appearing to Hurley, first directing him to lead everyone to the Temple to heal Sayid. At the Temple, they meet Dogen, Lennon, and the other Others who have presumably been there since early season 4. I found myself hard-pressed to care much about these obviously important characters introduced at the absolute 11th hour, so I'll focus on the mystery of how it is Sayid comes back to life after drowning in the dirty pool? Dogen claims that Sayid is "infected" with a "darkness", like Claire is. Even after the end of Sundown, it seems to me that perhaps neither of them are actually "infected" at all. Claire was alone on the island for 3 years, brainwashed by Esau and hunted by the others, who captured and tortured her at one point. Why wouldn't she be on Esau's side against the Others, especially since he promised to help Clair get her baby back? Sayid has been shot, tortured, sent off to die, and ultimately killed by the Others; this is not to mention all the times he shot, tortured, and killed for the Others (Ben) in season 4--or all the friends he lost to the Others, from Shannon (killed because of paranoia of the Others) to Charlie. Why wouldn't he want revenge? Why wouldn't he join with someone who opposed the Others? Especially if they promised him Nadia back alive? The only real evidence for Sayid being "infected" is the demonic look on his face at the end of the episode and the fact that protested his innocence. Time will tell. I still hope for redemption for both Claire and Sayid.

Something that strikes me: how is it that most of the Others just left with Esau when he told them Jabob was dead? Talk about loyalty! My respect for these people decreases almost every episode. I guess the moral here is that if you are a leader, don't make the mistake Jacob did. Tell people at least part of the reason why you want them to do things, so they feel like they have ownership in your goals. Otherwise, once you're gone, so is their commitment to your goals.

And I think that's a wrap for now. The next post will wrap up a few loose ends, explain my theory about Christian and Jacob and Esau, and review the next episode, which looks to be Ben-centric. The promos have me worried for his safety, if they kill him in this next episode after all but saying that they would in the promo, I'll be very upset. That's all for now. Namaste!

Feb 28 Odds and Ends

I know, it's been a while since my last post. And here I promised that I would break the cycle of sporadic blogging and post on a regular basis. Oh, well: plus ca change, right?

I really don't have a whole lot to blog about, just a potpourri of short items.

"The Waaiitting is the Hardest Part"

Firstly, still waiting on the Peace Corps. I received an email week before last from the Placement Office, asking for me to submit an updated resume with any changes that have occurred since I originally submitted it along with my application 13 long months ago. After some modifications with the assistance of my amazing girlfriend Kristen, I resubmitted my resume. The fact that the Placement Office is finally assessing my file is a good sign that the end of this process is almost in sight. I am scheduled to depart for staging in some African nation at some point in the April to June time-frame. Considering that I have still not been approved and given an assignment by the Placement Office (nor contacted by the Legal Office about my student loans and credit card debt), I'm thinking it's not likely to be April, more likely late May or June. It goes without saying that this giant question mark that has hung over my future since graduation has been both nerve-wracking and paralyzing, and I'd like to thank my friends and family for encouraging me and believing that it's going to happen after all, even when my faith falters.

Brief Political Aside

Almost as long and every bit as excruciating as my slow digestion by the Peace Corps bureaucracy, the Bataan health care march continues staggering towards the end-zone. I've long since lost patience with Republican political maneuvering and lying, Democratic insincerity and incompetence, and White House infighting. Just get it done. Not tomorrow. Yesterday. Republicans can push through deficit-expanding trillion-dollar boondoggles with 50+1 votes in the Senate but Democrats can't pass what's been the central plank in the party's domestic platform for at least the last 16 years because they only have 59 votes now instead of 60: this would be funny if people's lives weren't at stake. This debate has gone on for so long and been so draining, I almost don't care any more; much like a malnourished prisoner on the Bataan death march, at this point I almost care only about it ending, one way or another.

Almost. Because I don't have health insurance. Haven't since I graduated back in December 2008. In order to be medically cleared fit for duty by the Peace Corps, I had to drive myself over a thousand dollars into debt with medical expenses, simply because I want to serve. And I know there are millions of Americans who have it far, far worse than I do. Millions of Americans who actually do have serious medical conditions and cannot afford treatment. Millions of middle-class families having to skip physicals, dental exams, eye exams; millions of families driven into bankruptcy because they were unable to get treatment in the early stages of cancer or heart disease.

The amount of money one makes should determine what kind of car one drives, or one can even afford a car or whether one will have to rely on public transit. The amount of money one makes should determine what brand of clothes one can afford to buy and what kind of house one lives in, or whether one has to rent instead. I accept all these things. But the amount of money one makes should not determine whether one lives or dies. Not in the wealthiest nation in the history of humanity. Not in MY America. So this is my plea to Obama and congressional Democrats: pass health insurance reform. Speak with passion and conviction and righteous anger like Obama did on the campaign trail but has generally failed to do as president. Fight as if lives depended on it. Because they do.

Random Feb. 28 Thoughts

February has always disturbed me a little bit. First there's the pronunciation, the silent "r" that forces us to mentally say "Feb-RU-ar-y" (much like we have to say "WED-NES-day" and "Ant-arC-tic-a.") It's also hard to trust a month that keeps changing its mind on how many days it has.

When I was a child, I thought this quirk of February was due to the month being under a Biblical curse. I always felt an affinity for the suffering of Job. In the course of a single day, his oxen and donkeys were all stolen, his flock of sheep (his main investment and source of income) was killed by a rain of fire from the sky, and his sons and daughters were all killed when a great wind knocked down the house they were in. Oh, and Job broke out in really painful sores all over his body. (And you thought you'd had bad days before!) "Job opened his mouth and cursed the day of his birth. Job said: 'Let the day perish in which I was born... let it not come into the number of the months.'" (Job 3:1-3, 6; NRSV) Clearly the day on which Job was born was February 30! Sadly, this still fails to explain the appearance every 4 years of February 29.

My first "official" girlfriend, back in high school, had February 28 as her birthday, just narrowly missing out on being born on February 29. I always thought having a birthday on 2/29 would be interesting. If you were born on February 29 but that date didn't recur again until 4 years later, would you be 4 years old then, or technically just one? Or should you celebrate your birthday exactly 365 days after your birth, which means you'd turn 1 on March 1 of the year after your birth, 2 on March 2, etc.? If that were the case, your birthday would rotate around the calendar year like Ramadan. How cool would that be?

This could also come in handy for anniversaries. "Honey, you know what today is, right?" "February 28." "Right, our first anniversary." "No, it isn't." "Yes, it is! How could you forget that?" "I didn't forget. We were married on February 29th, so our first anniversary won't be until that day recurs again 3 years from now.... Honey, darling, where are you going? Don't blame me, blame the Gregorian calendar system!"

Finally, a fun ADD fact: Thomas Jefferson, a man who could be absentminded (to put it mildy), suggested during the 1780s that presidents be elected to serve only 1-year terms.The date he proposed selecting for the annual election: February 29! Founding Father Fail.

2009 Music Awards

I'd make a lousy movie reviewer, I don't go to see that many movies in the theater. I'd make a lousy book reviewer these days, too; when the year started I already had far too many books stacked up waiting for me to get to and I end the year the same way. Always so many books, so little time. Music, though, is another story; my earbud headphones spend so much time in my ears, they could be considered a vestigial appendage. 2009 started out as very disappointing year, musically, but got better towards the end (completely the opposite of how things went politically this year). So without further ado, I present the 2009 Michael Music Awards:

The Lazarus Award: This award goes to a dead band that miraculously came back to life this year. There's really no competition for this honor in 2009: Blink-182 is back! Well, sort of. I mean, they went on tour together for the first time since 2004, but it won't really hit me until I'm holding their (soon-to-be released?) CD in my hands...

The Best New Talent Award (based on first chart-topping single): I was going to give this to Owl City for the ubiquitous "Fireflies," but decided against it. Adam Young disingenuously claimed that he'd never listened to "The Postal Service" until after his own debut album came out (which he eventually had to retract because "Ocean Eyes" is obviously the end-result of years of having "Give Up" on constant replay). I don't mind artists ripping other artists off, it's been done for centuries (think of all those "variations on a theme" in classical music). But I do mind when an artist won't even admit what other artists truly influenced him. Which means, by default, 2009's Best New Talent Award goes to Phoenix for "1901." Congrats!


The H1N1 Single Award: "Shawty's like a melody in my head that I can't keep out, got me singin' like na na na na every day, it's like my iPod's stuck on replay..." If you didn't have the lyrics to "Replay" by Iyaz stuck in your head this year, you have an exceptionally strong musical immune system. It doesn't hurt that the song makes me think of a certain someone... :D

The Kudzu Award: We all hate kudzu, it's obnoxious, but at least in the South, if you stand still long enough, it'll grow on you. Exploding onto the scene this year, Lady Gaga was 2009's musical equivalent of kudzu. On the one hand, Lady Gaga is responsible for atrocities like "LoveGame," "Poker Face," and "Paparazzi." On the other hand, she also blessed the world with "Eh, Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say)," "Just Dance," and "Bad Romance." This confuses me immensely. In 2010, I look forward to continuing to love/despise Lady Babynoises.

Funeral for a Friend Award: Bands break up all the time. But Armor for Sleep disbanding in October, that one hurts. At least they left us 3 epic CD's worth of awesomeness.

"Waste all your time with me, I know I'm a mess right now. Don't give up, believe. I'd wait it out for you."

The "What does 'hiatus' mean?" award: One of my all-time favorite bands, The Hush Sound, announced this spring that they were going on "hiatus." So is this like Weezer in the late 90s or like Something Corporate since 2004? I'm hoping it's the former. In any case, Greta Morgan's new band, Gold Hotel, is quickly becoming a favorite.

Best "New-to-Me" band: This award is for the best band I "discovered" in 2009, even if they've been around for years and didn't release an album this year. While there are a lot of "honorable mentions" (Manic Street Preachers, Rasputina, Some by Sea, Jason Mraz [who I'd listened to for years without realizing how awesome he is], Kristin Andreassen, etc), ultimately it's no contest: Arcade Fire is amazing beyond words! I'd been hearing about this Canadian band for years, but somehow had never gotten around to listening to them until the trailer for "Where the Wild Things Are" was released in February. "Wake Up" was the soundtrack to the trailer, and led me to check out the rest of Arcade Fire's songs. They played some free concerts for Obama rallies last year, so I knew they were cool, I just had no idea how cool! My personal favorite is "Rebellion (Lies)," also off their 2004 album "Funeral." If you like good music, as opposed to crappy music, you will adore Arcade Fire. Period.

"Sleeping is giving in, no matter what the time is. Sleeping is giving in, so lift those heavy eyelids. People say that you'll die faster than without water. But we know it's just a lie, scare your son, scare your daughter."


And now, the obligatory Five Best Albums of the Year:

5. "Nothing Personal" by All Time Low: Their 2006 major-label debut EP "Put Up or Shut Up" was brimming with more raw energy and effort than most full-length CDs and their 2007 follow-up "So Wrong, It's Right" was disappointingly mediocre. However, with this year's "Nothing Personal," All Time Low has firmly established itself as king of the overcrowded field of pop-punk bands. The weakest tracks are still tolerable, and the strongest ("Weightless," "Lost in Stereo," "Walls," "Too Much," "Keep the Change, You Filthy Animal") are pure ear candy. Anyone who's written off this genre should give All Time Low a listen, you'll almost certainly be hearing a lot more of them in the future. My only complaint is that the album has too much synth, a little less next time, please.

"Maybe it's not my weekend, but it's gonna be my year. And I'm so sick of watching while the minutes pass and I go nowhere. And this is my reaction, to everything I fear, cause I've been going crazy, I don't want to waste another minute here!"


4. "Incredibad" by The Lonely Island: I almost hate to say anything about "Incredibad," for fear of ruining the hilarity. All I'll say is that it's a collection of songs from recent SNL shorts, ranging from "Lazy Sunday" to "I'm On a Boat." If you've not seen these before, get thee to Hulu or YouTube posthaste! It's best to see the visual first. Oh, and drinking while listening to the last track, wherein the origins of "Incredibad" are explained, is definitely not recommended. Unless your lungs are thirsty or you like shooting Santana DVX out of your nose. Just FYI.

"I'm ridin' on a dolphin, doin' flips and shit. The dolphin's splashin', gettin' ever'body all wet. But this ain't Sea World, this as real as it gets!"


3. "The Open Door EP" by Death Cab for Cutie: Ok, maybe technically an EP doesn't count as a full CD, but Death Cab has filled this EP with enough awesomeness to almost warrant my crowning it best album of the year (it has been nominated for the "Best Alternative Music Album" Grammy). "Open Door" is comprised of 4 tracks cut from 2008's "Narrow Stairs", plus an acoustic version of "Talking Bird." The opening track "Little Bribes" is an uncharacteristically-jaunty tune about a trip to Vegas ("You pretend every slot machine is a robot amputee waving hello. The people stare into their eyes and they feed them little bribes and then they go"). It's followed by "A Diamond and a Tether," a lament about fear of commitment, and "My Mirror Speaks," perhaps DCfC's strongest percussion beat since "Marching Bands of Manhattan." The final original song on the album, "I Was Once a Loyal Lover," is a rousing conclusion to this EP ("And you can't even begin to know, how many times I've told myself 'I told you so.' And you can't even begin to believe, there's so many bridges engulfed in flames behind me.") It'll do nicely until their next full-length.

"I always fall in love with an open door, with the horizon on an endless sea, as I look around the ones who were standing right in front of me."


2. "Outer South" by Conor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band: 2008 saw the release of the self-titled "solo project" CD by Bright Eyes singer/songwriter/folk mastermind Conor Oberst. 2009 saw the release of the band's second album, "Outer South," this time giving more credit and making more use of his new backup band. While "Conor Oberst" was a tough one to top, on several tracks Conor and Co. do just that. From the opening track "Slowly (Oh, So Slowly)" ("Dementia, you better treat me good!"), to "Big Black Nothing" ("A big black nothing is not the end"), to the biting populist sarcasm on "Roosevelt Room" ("There's no blankets for the winter, there's no oil in the lamp. And I'd like to write my congressman, but I can't afford the stamp"), this album is incredible. In particular, Conor's version of "Eagle on a Pole" on last year's CD was underwhelming, but Jason Boesel's version on "Outer South" does the concept justice. While I'm disappointed that the Mystic Valley Band has folded, it is about time for Conor to get back to that other band.

"Never trust a truly wayward wandering soul. Never trust a wanted woman who can't say no. And you never trust an eagle on a pole."


1. "I and Love and You" by The Avett Brothers: It's hard to believe it was only a couple years ago that Scott Avett would stop by the store in Harrisburg and I would totally geek out, asking people, "Don't you know who that was? The Avett Brothers doesn't ring a bell?" It almost never did. In 2009, this Cabarrus County-based band hit the big time, with appearances on Letterman, concerts with Wilco and the Dave Matthews Band, a cover article in Blurt magazine, and of course, their major label debut, "I and Love and You." Any time a band finally gets the national recognition it deserves, longtime fans protest that the band has sold out. "I and Love and You" might not be quite as good all around as "Four Thieves Gone," "The Gleam," or "Emotionalism," but the individual tracks on their new CD can compete with any of their old material. The irresistible enthusiasm of "Kick Drum Heart;" the rapping on "Slight Figure of Speech;" the epic quality of the ballad "Head Full of Doubt/Road Full of Promise;" and "January Wedding," a sweet Southern banjo-laden love song only The Avett Brothers could pull off -- all of these songs are more than the equal of classics like "Colorshow," "St. Joseph's," "Die Die Die," and "Paranoia in B-Flat Major." You owe it to yourself to listen to the Best Album of the Year.

"Load the car and write the note. Grab your bag and grab your coat. Tell the ones that need to know: We are headed North. One foot in and one foot back. But it don't pay to live like that. So I cut the ties and I jumped the tracks, for never to return...."



And the Five Most Disappointing Albums of 2009:

5. "Daisy" by Brand New: I really wanted to love this album. 2006's "The Devil and God Are Raging Inside Me" absolutely blew my mind. If I had a list of favorite CDs of the decade (which I don't, cause the decade ain't over for another year yet!), it would be in the top 5. But unlike every previous album, "Daisy" is not so much a quantum-leap forward as a shuffling step sideways. The most noticeable "innovation" on this album is that the lead singer Jesse Lacey sounds like the lead singer of Modest Mouse in several tracks (that's when his voice isn't drowned out entirely). It's not that it's a terrible album, it just doesn't come anywhere close to fulfilling my admittedly unreasonable expectations.

4. "Hot Mess" by Cobra Starship: It's getting old, Gabe. I know you aren't a one-trick pony, so why don't you prove it?

3. "Lonely Road" by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus: 2006 was a great year for music, and The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus's debut CD "Don't You Fake It" was astoundingly good and still gets rotated through my car CD player at least once a year. I wish I could say the same about "Lonely Road," but here I don't think I can even excuse them by saying that I had unreasonable expectations. It's as if the band decided to jettison their sound in favor of becoming just another Puddle of Mudd/Nickelback clone band. I won't even dignify it (or either of the last two albums on this list) by giving an Amazon link, they don't deserve your money for this atrocity. DO. NOT. LIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2. "No Line On The Horizon" by U2: I pre-ordered this one right after Christmas last year, several months before it was released. I did this, because I'm crazy. U2 in my book is one of the greatest bands in the history of music. Period. But ever since the late 80s, the band seems to have lost its way. I loved "Beautiful Day" and several other tracks from "All That You Can't Leave Behind," but I kept waiting for them to return at least partially to their hard rock/punk roots. When the first single "Vertigo" from 2004's "How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb" was released, it seemed like an answer to my prayers, an honest-to-God dance-hall rock song! I then purchased the album and... was disappointed, although again, there were a few good tracks.

I was wary of being "punked" that way again, but I wanted to believe in them. This was a mistake, for U2 has produced the worst album of any major artist in recent memory. It opens with a wailing, incoherent title track, and it's downhill from there. This train-wreck of a record should never have seen the light of day. The songs blend together into a complete blur; only "Magnificent," "I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight," and "Get On Your Boots" stick your mind afterwords, and even they are so weak they would never have even made the B-side of a U2 release back when they still had pride in their craft. The sonic pretensions are surpassed only by the idiocy of the lyrics "Hey, sexy boots. Get on your boots, yeah. You free me from the dark dream, candy floss ice cream." Someone needs to force the three of them to listen to one of their classic albums, like War, from the days before they got rich and complacent and see if that can inspire them to inspire us, to create music they can be justly proud of. And if it doesn't work, U2 should call it a quarter-century and disband.

1. "Brand New Eyes" by Paramore: This one was the most crushing disappointment. Paramore is high atop my list of all-time favorite bands. "All We Know is Falling" and "Riot" were such awesome CDs, I expected a similar sound and level of quality on "Brand New Eyes." Sadly, no. The first two tracks are decent, about on a par with the singles from "Riot." But after that, it's a steep, rapid descent into music suck. ::shakes head:: You can do so much better than this, I expect so much better from you guys.....



Honorable Mention (in no particular order):

-"Post Electric Blues" by Idlewild ("Readers and Writers" has an INCREDIBLE beat, and the album as a whole holds up pretty well to their earlier work.)
-"The Dear Jack EP" by Jack's Mannequin (With Andrew McMahon, what's not to love?)
-"Who Are You Now?" by This Providence (As a longtime fan, this album took a multiple listens to truly appreciate)
-Anjulie (pop-R&B for people who like neither)
-Cage the Elephant (Sounds like the White Stripes mugging Bob Dylan... which, oddly, is a compliment)
-ChartJackers (The British YouTube sensation; too bad they were a one-off)
-Monsters of Folk (I would have put this one in the top 5, but I didn't think it'd be fair to include 2 albums featuring Conor Oberst)
-Mallary Hope (I don't usually go for country much these days, but her EP "Love Lives On" is definitely worth a listen, even if you don't like country)
-Green Day (Channeling classic rock greats, "21st Century Breakdown" is a step or two below 2004's "American Idiot," but that's a nearly impossible album to top, so I don't really fault them. Still worth a listen if you haven't heard it yet.)
-Gold Hotel (Greta Morgan's new band)
-Weezer ("Raditude." The name says it all.)
-The Decembrists ("The Hazards of Love" is haunting and, honestly, more than a little disturbing. Per usual for them)
-Kings of Leon ("Only by the Night" was released in 2008, and so is sadly not eligible, though singles from it have completely pwned the airwaves this year)
-Moby (Remember him? His album "Wait for Me" is worth your time)
-Relient K ("Forget and Not Slow Down" is high on my "CDs-to-buy-next" list)

Albums I'm looking forward to in 2010:

Blink-182
Jimmy Eat World
KT Tunstall (please?)
I'm sure many others....

So, tell me, who did I forget? Who should have been on here but wasn't? Who was, but definitely didn't deserve it?

So I've got a blog now...

I've been blogging for longer than just about anyone else without a public solely-owned-and-operated blog of my own. I first started blogging back in September 2003, when my friend Michael Akerman invited me to join this group blog he'd just started, "Inner Vistas, Invisible Chains." We were just beginning our senior year of high school and it was about a year or two before most people knew what a blog was. Akerman, Ed Snyder, and myself blogged about just about anything and everything, with "issues," usually political or historical, dominating my posts. It was a great way to keep in touch when we all went to separate colleges, almost as if we were simply continuing those cafeteria-table conversations that had started way back during freshman year at Ragsdale. I blogged regularly at IVIC for a little over 3 years and it just petered out.

So what happened? I suppose life, the usual things that preoccupy our minds. It's been a busy and intense 5 years, as my next post will elaborate. In particular, my style of blogging (eschewing short pithy sentence-long, link-heavy posts in favor of mini-essays), was exhausting, requiring a great deal of time, effort, and research, comparable to a research paper. Because I knew it would be so time-consuming, I put off blogging, ultimately indefinitely. Life's so full, and after work and sleep and meals and facebook conversations (not to mention my real-world social life), I usually feel like going to bed, not blogging. It's not that I stopped blogging period. I started a blog on a popular left-of-center online community and post my politcal rantings there intermittently. I wrote a few facebook posts, as well. But I've become mostly a consumer, rather than a producer, of online content. This blog is my attempt to change that.

A few ground rules (that I shall probably break in short order):

-My posts will NOT be "diary" posts. I've never understood the point of a diary, really. If you're trying to keep secrets, why write them down in a book (not to mention a public website) where anyone can read them? Plus, I want to make the job of my future biographers as hard as possible! In all honesty, the real reason I'm not a fan of diary posts is because most people's lives, mine included, aren't that interesting most days, sadly. "I got up, went to work, came home, brushed my teeth, and went to bed." Would YOU want to read that? Didn't think so! (Not that my days are usually quite that boring, but you get the idea.)

-My posts will NOT be political. I know, I can tell you're rolling your eyes now. But as I already mentioned, I have an outlet for political thoughts on that popular liberal website. Actually, I have plenty of other outlets for that, such as talking to friends. Having this prohibition in effect here will hopefully also have the side effect of spurring me to blog more on that other site as well.

-My posts will NOT be fictional. I will have, at some point soon, a separate deviant-art-style blog to serve as my creative outlet. It is there that I will post poems, short stories, song lyrics, etc. If and when that particular blog is up and running, some of you will receive an invitation to read the more personal thoughts on display there. That's going to be a much more selective list of folks, both because I'm a private person by nature and because of the nature of the internet today, with employers constantly trolling it, looking for reasons to fire/not hire employees. I need a place to be myself and show my creative endeavors to those who will appreciate them.

Now that I have told you what this blog will NOT be, what will the posts be about? The short answer is that I don't know exactly. I have some ideas, of course. Tomorrow's post, for example, will be about life and loss. I'll also be doing a series of list posts soon, reflections on the close of the decade, pop culture, music, movies, books, etc, things that have an impact on me. Beyond that, only time will tell. If my life goes as I plan (heh, yeah right!), I might be living overseas next year, in which case this blog will turn into a kind of diary for the benefit of those at home. Regardless, as IVIC was designed to be, this will be a blog of "ideas," although hopefully shorter, pithier ones!

Now the final conundrum: sign offs. "Until next time"? "By my hand"? I think for now, I'll stick with an old stand-by.

In peace,
Michael